We are creatures of habit, aren’t we? Odds are pretty good that we travel the same roads to get to work, to regular appointments and favorite jaunts. Once we know the best route we rarely deviate. It is efficient and comfortable. We have gotten spoiled by GPS and Google Maps on our iPhones but I used to love to read and study a map. Those of you who know me well know that figuring out the most efficient route would be a fun challenge. I think I read recently that the Estimated Arrival Time is interpreted by some as “Time to Beat.” That would be me! I think I got that from my father who made very infrequent stops on trips. Efficiency is one thing but sometimes you just need to stop!

Though taking the most direct way to work is certainly not a bad habit, I have been realizing lately that I don’t like the results of some of my habits. Unfortunately, I don’t do anything to change these patterns. I’m sure you’ve heard that the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over expecting different results.

Here are some of the frequent roads that I travel:

• Trying to make everyone happy–I feel compelled to try to cheer people up. I avoid awkward situations with humor. If someone in my immediate surroundings is unhappy then I am unhappy. The fact is I don’t have the power to make someone happy. Being silly or making a joke can cheer someone up temporarily but their happiness is not up to me.
• Keeping the peace–I hate conflict and avoid it with a passion! I have virtually zero skills for debate or arguing my point. If it is something I feel passionately about I either get mad and cry or just cry. I am a thinker and a processor. I have to mull things over. So speaking about anything meaningful in the heat of the moment does not work for me. Odds are pretty good that I’ll change the subject to something more pleasant. Picture me with my hands over my ears, my eyes shut, and repeating “la la la la” over and over. If I don’t do this visibly rest assured I’m doing it on the inside!
• Living in fear–I think this is a result of the first two. I try to make everyone happy and keep the peace because I am afraid someone won’t like me, will abandon me or be mad at me. I’m afraid of failing, rejection, disappointing and glitter. Most of my fears are unfounded but when in auto-pilot fear kicks in.

So, am I alone? Am I the only one who struggles with these issues? Maybe. But we all have our issues. If not, there likely wouldn’t be addictions, obesity or depression.

I’m no psychiatrist or counselor but it looks like to me that these tendencies are fueled by both trying to control my surroundings and selfishness. I want things to go my way so that I am satisfied and my needs are met. What I am learning, though, is that God is the only one who can truly meet my needs and satisfy my deepest longings. I am the only one I can change. However, I can love and encourage.  God is the only one that can meet others needs as well. So, I pray. And I pray. Oh, and cry, then pray.

Once again it boils down to trust. Trusting God to work out the details in my life but also the details of those I care about. Easy, right? Not when you’ve been cruising down the same highway for nearly half a century.

I will close with a favorite verse:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths {roads}.
Proverbs 3:5-6

Have a great day!