Note:  While I pray that this Musing will offer hope, it is straight from my heart and may be difficult for some to read.

I found out over the weekend that my cousin Jeff was killed in an accident. He would have been forty this week. The irony of it was the way it happened. He was one who loved to be active and do risky things: he skied, he had a boat, rode motorcycles, had his private pilot’s license, and loved a good party. He was killed walking at night and being hit by a car.

Death is a part of life. But when death comes to someone we love and it makes no sense to us we are left hurt and confused. I spent the entire weekend since I heard the news in a bit of a fog.

Jeff and I were not especially close mainly because he lived in Florida and his family moved away when we were young. However, over the last several years I have had opportunities to visit with him. One of those times was when we spent a week in Orlando and my husband and I visited his home and then had dinner with Jeff, his sister Michelle and her family. Two other family occasions brought us together. I am very thankful for those times.

So what do you do when you are faced with a situation that does not make any sense? What do you do when God does not “behave” the way you think He should (or want Him to)? While God did not necessarily cause Jeff’s death, He certainly allowed it. In God’s economy there are no “untimely” deaths because God is Sovereign (in control) over all things.

Do we shake our fists at God? Do we turn away from Him because He’s not fair? Or do we run to Him because He is the only one that can restore our peace and bring us comfort? When you are hurting it is OK to be honest with God. He is big enough to handle it. He already knows how you are feeling anyway.

I am not saying that it will then make sense. As long as we are in this life there will be evil at work. The odds are pretty good that if you watch the news for just five minutes you will hear at least one thing that makes no sense! But as believers we can take hold of the fact that something better awaits us. We can have hope that this is not all there is.

Here are just a few things that don’t make any sense:

· People dying of hunger doesn’t make any sense

· Parents abusing children doesn’t make any sense

· Hurricane’s wiping out whole cities doesn’t make any sense.

· My Aunt losing both her parents and a son tragically doesn’t make any sense

· God sending His sinless, perfect Son to die in my place really doesn’t make any sense

Whether things make sense to us or not does not change who God is. The worst thing we could do is run away because where else would we go?

Jesus asked His disciples the same question in John 6. After Jesus had just delivered a hard message to the disciples (other followers of Christ including the Twelve), here is what happened:

^“After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him. So Jesus said to the Twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.” John 6:66-69 (ESV)

That is what I am choosing to do—I will run to the Holy One of God because, really, where else would I go? What will you do?